I have this dream of being a professional dancer. Well, that got straight to the point, didn’t it? It’s been a dream that I haven’t really had for long, but since it has come into my mind, it has stayed there. And nothing will shake it.
The problem is, I haven’t done dance for that long.
My brief history in dance-
- Ballet for a year, as a five year old, that mostly consisted of running and skipping
- Hip Hop for a year in grade five because I wanted to try it. But I wasn’t very good at it.
- Acrobatics the year after that, which I quit because I had too many commitments already.
But then when I moved schools in 2013 and I found out that my new school had a dance program I was intrigued. Even though I hadn’t had much experience I was drawn to auditioning for a competition team. That was probably the greatest leap of faith I have taken to this day. I am a bit of a comfort zone person though, to be honest. And even the smallest things, like ordering take out or talking on the phone, scare me at times.
The night before the audition I was honestly freaking out even though all we had to do was a 30 second dance in a small room with just a few other people. That was a terrifying thought at the time, which is fairly understandable. Me, having a background in gymnastics (and please don’t tell me, its practically the same as dance because I know from experience that the two are quite different, but that’s another story) made up a routine that was made up of a couple of tricks and the splits. Or something, I honestly don’t remember it all that well. Bit of a blank spot in my memory.
But.. apparently the school’s dance instructor saw potential in me and decided to put me, not in the team of my age group but with the seniors. This was an extremely big deal, I though so anyway. So this meant that little, quiet, shy, grade 8 me was going to be dancing with girls in year 10 and 11. *excited teenage girl scream*
I stumbled through that first year learning a contemporary routine and a jazz routine (which was especially difficult because you had to be sassy, which at the time was a completely foreign concept.) I did pull through though and managed to do a decent job. I definitely wasn’t the best in the group but I was there with them.
Over the next two years until now I have been in that same team and have improved a lot, some girls graduated last year and we have a few new recruits this year. Its honestly been a brilliant opportunity for me and every time I go out on that stage I fall in love with it all over again.
I love the connection you can feel, the stories you can tell, the way you can be anybody out there on that stage because nobody knows exactly who you are. I love the lights and cameras and costumes and make-up, even (surprisingly) the hours you have to practice and train to perfect a single movement.
I know this probably sounds super cheesy and you might not get it unless you’ve been there yourself but I love it and recently I decided I wanted to make it a bigger part of my life.
My issue is my lack of experience and lack of time to pursue a create in this performing art. I have 2 and a half years until I graduate and if this is what I want to do, I have to start now.
But the realistic part of my brain says that this is a very competitive career choice and those other girls have been doing this since they could walk. I’m still an amateur and I probably don’t have the proper technique or the right frame of mind. I know you might call this a pessimistic mindset but I prefer to refer to it as realistic.
Do I go for it? Do I jump with the possibility of landing flat on my face? Or do I stay in my comfort zone and stick to something that will be an easy career?
I know the answer before I ask the question. If I’m not passionate about it, it won’t fulfil me. And it comes back to that quote-
“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life”
I know its a bit overused but its true.
So I have to make some decisions. Should I do as many classes as I can? And workshops and auditions? Do I put my heart and soul into it? Will that be enough? I have to work these out on my own too.
“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail”
-Robert H. Schuller
I only wish I did know that I could not fail. Sadly, that is not the way it is and I have to take another leap of faith.
I hope you guys don’t mind me being really personal like this but everything makes a lot more sense when it on paper… or a screen… anyway-
Is there anything you’ve been hesitant to try out in the case that you could fail? Think about it and maybe we can face our fears and/or hesitations together?
I hope to hear from you. 🙂
Love and virtual hugs xx