What if I’m never good enough? What if all I want to do in my life is too far out of reach?
When you have a dream, a dream that you wish for with all of you heart. One part of you wonders and dreams about attaining that goal and the other is left wondering what happens if you fail.
You know that that second half of you should be focusing on doing. On doing everything in your power to achieve your dream, like there is no way you can possibly fail. But you can’t focus on that part while you still have any trace of worry of the disappointment you will have to face if you don’t succeed.
And now I’m over-thinking, over-thinking. Great.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I worry a lot. I can’t help it. I feel like I’m stuck between a wall of “Not Good Enough” and “Never Will Be.” I’m lost here and don’t know which way to go. This is a never-ending maze of negativity, that is really just a waste of energy. I want to see the light, so bad, but I can’t. Not yet anyway.
What if I never get a chance? What is the point of trying, if the only possible outcome is failure? It stares inevitable and grinning. Welcoming me. ‘Keep up that wishful thinking,’ it sneers. Failure is cruel.
These things are all in my mind, but they all seem so real. They try to convince me that I shouldn’t try at all.
I wish I had of been a prodigy at something. That would be alright. You would know exactly what you were meant to do with your life and you would do what everyone expected you to do.
But what if the fact that I’m smart and good at a variety of things is not enough. People will always expect more than I can give to them. Maybe, I’ll just spend my life being average at a lot of things. But never good enough.
What is good enough, though? Is it based on your goals and dreams in life? Or is it based on others opinions on what you should achieve in life?
You should earn a lot of money. Live in a good house. Have a nice husband and kids. Be attractive and healthy. Be successful in everything you do.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
So why don’t I do a university course that pretty much guarantees me a good paying job. That’s what everyone expects me to do.
That is actually a good question. Why don’t I?
I don’t want to do what people expect. I want to be my own person. I want to do what I love. I want to make my own path, not walk down some cheesy yellow brick road someone else has paved for me.
I don’t want to be good enough! If good enough is what others want from me, than I don’t want to give it to them. They can think what they want about me. I am me. They are irrelevant. It’s not their business.
And I’ll prove them wrong.
Because they are wrong.
Society has built up this ridiculous standard of what is good enough. Of what is successful. Why should we be forced to conform to that? Set yourself free and do something unexpected. Take a leap of faith. Whatever the result, it is good enough. It is good enough for you and anyone who thinks otherwise is irrelevant.
Believe, believe, believe.
If it doesn’t work out, try again. Or try something new.
Break free from societies boundaries and make your own.
If you’re stuck between a wall of “Not Good Enough” and “Never Will Be,” climb the wall. Or dig a tunnel. Find a way, but make sure it’s your way.